God has a plan?
by ooh-mr-darcy
Summary: April was 29. And okay, up until two months ago she had been a virgin, but it wasn't like she had never heard the safe sex lecture. April/Jackson and the consequences. Spoilers for ep 8x21 and 8x22.
1. Chapter 1

April was 29. And okay, up until two months ago she had been a virgin, but it wasn't like she had never heard the safe sex lecture. She'd had the same health classes that everyone else had. She'd put the condom on the banana and giggled about it with her friends. Then she'd gone to college and med school and she'd learnt how babies were made in great technical detail. She'd learnt all about hormones and cycles and what the difference between an embryo and a foetus was. She'd also learnt all about contraception. Pills, patches, implants, injections, coils, condoms; she could reel off a list of facts about all of them. Which was why she couldn't understand the situation she was in now.

Two months ago she had spent, what she could now admit to herself, was the most incredible night of her life with her best friend. She had lost her virginity and it had been incredible. Then she had repeated the experience the in the men's room the next day and she had suddenly understood why all those women chose not to wait for marriage. Except that after that it had all gone wrong, she had failed her boards, and let her brain run ahead of her heart and got crazy about breaking her promise to Jesus. She still felt bad about that, she really did and she had been to church more in the last two months that she had in the last two years so she couldn't really understand why when she had asked for forgiveness the man or woman upstairs had decided to upend her life again.

So April blamed her inexperience for her fumble with the condom that had led to the slip. She blamed failing the boards and not speaking to her best friend for two months for distracting her so much that she forgot about the morning after pill and then didn't notice that she had missed two periods. But mostly she blamed god, because when it came down to it, she believed that conception was a miracle and he or she knew what he or she was doing. It was that belief that meant in seven months' time she was going to be holding her son or daughter in her arms. She just had to work out how she was going to tell the man she loved, her family and the rest of the world that she was going to be a mother.

April really hoped that god had a plan because she couldn't see how her life could get anymore screwed up at this point.

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**Just a little ficlet that came to me after the last episode!**


	2. Chapter 2

**There's a little bit of bad language in this bit. Warning over. **

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Christina spat most of her mouthful of tequila straight back across the bar when April finally told them why she had been behaving strangely. She couldn't quite believe it. April was pregnant. Sure April was a woman like her and Meredith, who in the past had both found themselves in the same situation, but neither of them had been publicly acknowledged virgins. She stared again at the redhead who had made the admission after the third time Meredith had tried to pass a shot of tequila off as water to get April to drink something.

'Meredith, enough. It's not that I don't want to drink this, although I really don't because it tastes disgusting and I'm a complete lightweight' April had rambled on in her usual way, getting distracted from her point before suddenly returning to it. 'I CAN'T drink this.'

'Why? You aren't pregnant are you?' A more than slightly drunk Meredith had joked, it wasn't often she had a night out now she was a wife and mother.

April had blushed, stuttered, and dropped eye contact before whispering. 'Yes'. The awkward silence was broken by Christina and the mouthful of tequila.

Holy shit.

Christina had watched as everyone had tried too hard to be sensitive around the former chief resident, giving easy platitudes like 'it was just bad luck' or 'you're certain to pass next time round'. And she had watched as April became more quiet, more withdrawn, and a shadow of her former self. Owen had cleared it for her to stay on as a resident for another year, until the next boards and she had repaid that faith by working twice as hard, spending every moment she wasn't in the ER or OR with her nose in the books. It seemed that no one could get through to her.

Finally Christina's husband had promised both her and Meredith an extra day off that month if they could convince his trauma protégé to talk. Everyone knew April had been through a rough few months. Watching her friends take up attending posts and having to hand over the chief resident job to Lexie hadn't been easy. To top it all off her and Jackson seemed to have had some kind of a fight. April had been calm, stoic and way too quiet. Owen was worried that the failure might push April to do something stupid. Christina would lay money that he would never have guessed what the real reason for her mood was.

'But. But. You're a virgin!' Meredith blinked at April, her drunk mind still reeling.

'Not anymore. I threw my promise to Jesus away for one amazing night. Well really it was one night and the bathroom the day after. But whatever. I am such a bad person.'

Christina looked at the two women beside her at the bar. 'At least it was good.' She commented. She remembered her first time, something that she certainly wouldn't have described as amazing. 'What are you going to do?' Christina asked the inevitable, even if she knew what the answer would be. April was different to her. April did shiny and happy, even if she had been dark and twisty for the last few months.

April, as expected, replied with certainty, she had made up her mind the day she had taken the test. 'Be a single mom. Try and pass my boards. Make it up to God. Hope he forgives me.' April took another sip of water. 'I'm so screwed.'

'Isn't god supposed to forgive anyone who asks?' Said Meredith.

'I guess' April finally looked up. It seemed Meredith's drunken words had actually helped. 'Although it wasn't God I was talking about. It was the…..' April paused and Christina watched her fumble for another word. '…..the father. He's made it clear he hates me now. We haven't talked in two months.'

Meredith quickly downed her sixth shot of tequila of the evening and signalled Joe for another. Christina knew she would be looking after her in the morning. All three surgeons were staying at the firehouse while Owen stayed with Derek and helped looked after Zola. Christina also knew that in this state there was a decent likelihood that her person would say or do something she would regret in the morning.

'He took your virginity, the virginity you held onto for 29 years' Meredith was slurring now. 'In a one night stand. I think you should hate him.'

Once again Christina watched April look deeply uncomfortable. 'It wasn't his fault. It was the boards. The pressure. We both got carried away. And I wanted him so bad.' Christina stared at the woman who she had to admit begrudgingly had become a friend. April had been innocent and it was clear she had done what girls the world over did and fallen in love with the first man she had slept with. It was just a shame that she had to be 29 when it had happened. 'And now he hates me.'

Then something else occurred to Christina. 'You had sex at the boards. It was someone we know?' She had a bad feeling that Alex, another of her friends, was the guilty party in this.

'The guy who said you stole his job?' Meredith guessed, chucking a handful of bar nuts into her mouth. April shook her head at this but didn't answer Christina's original question.

Christina liked to think that sometimes things happened as they were meant to, like the time the icicle had fallen and lead her to Owen. This wasn't one of those moments. This moment was more of a car crash. The door to the bar opened to reveal Avery, Sloan and Calleigh. April didn't hide her reaction in time and both Meredith and Christina got it. Knowing what they knew now it was also impossible not to notice the brief, guilty, look that Jackson threw at April before pretending he hadn't seen her.

Meredith stood. 'Avery did this? Bastard.'

Tomorrow Christina would blame the tequila for what happened next but at that moment it just seemed like the right thing to do. April was their friend, she had had the innocence that Christina and Meredith both somewhat envied and he had taken it away. Besides, men could be bastards and it wasn't like Christina could stop Meredith when she had her mind made up.

Meredith grabbed the final shot off the bar and walked (staggered) over to the three attendings. The tequila went straight into Avery's face before he even had a chance to say hi. Christina then delivered a resounding slap to his left cheek before they both stormed out dragging an embarrassed and apologising April with them.

It wasn't until the next morning when all three of them had their heads over the toilet bowl due to either tequila or morning sickness that April admitted she hadn't actually told Jackson he was going to be a father yet.

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**Many, many thanks for the reviews and story alerts. I've fixed one typo if the first chapter - please let me know if you spot any more. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sat listening to Adam Lambert sing Tracks of My Tears and felt inspired. No idea why, it really has nothing to do with this story. **

**Warning - a little more bad language.  
**

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For a long time Jackson had felt like an outsider at Seattle Grace. Him and his friends from Mercy West had never really fitted in with the elite cliques of Seattle Grace. It was only the terrible events of the shooting that had made him finally feel like part of the team. He had survived, and stayed, and become part of the gang. His fellow residents Yang, Big Grey and even Karev had become friends.

For a while he had thought that Little Grey could be even more that, eventually though it had become clear it wasn't to be, something he was now grateful for. If Jackson and Lexie had worked then Little Grey and Sloan could never have been. Now they were a perfect couple and Jackson benefitted from excellent surgeries every time Mark got excellent sex. Jackson's mentor was nothing if not predictable (and completely smitten, but that was another story).

Through it all though, there had been April.

April.

He had met April on his first day as an intern. Nobody had liked her. She had been intense and annoying and just too nice. She had been the intern that everybody bitched about when she wasn't in the locker room and 'accidentally' forgot to invite to parties. Gradually through she had grown on people. They had begun to see her kindness and her heart. When one of the interns lost a patient or was given a rough time by an attending she was there with unquestioning support. Through the uncertainties of the merger she had constantly reassured them that they were a team and that she was sure they would all fit in at the new hospital. She had come out stronger from the shooting, despite the loss of her best friend. She had transformed again into the best kind of chief resident and Jackson knew that she would be an amazing surgeon, despite the boards.

The first time Jackson had realised that April was his best friend he had been a bit shocked. He hadn't noticed his affection for her creeping up on him until one day he turned around and she wasn't there because she was on holiday and he had missed her. Jackson did remember finding out she was virgin. It had been one of those truly stunning moments that made him question his expectations of everyone he met. He had never known (and not in just in the biblical sense) a woman like her before. She was strong. She was confident. She could have had most of the men she met. But she chose not to. She chose.

He hadn't really understood her decision until the morning after 'that' night. When she had started freaking out about Jesus he had finally got that she had real values and principles that she didn't talk about but that she really believed in.

He respected her for that.

He also loved her for it.

Jackson was terrified to learn that somewhere along the line he had fallen completely, hopelessly, head over heels, no holds barred in love. He would never admit it out loud to anyone but every time she walked in the room his heart started to pound, he got butterflies in his stomach and his hands went clammy. It was why he hadn't been able to talk to her. There was no way he was going to risk being hurt by letting anyone see the April shaped chink in his armour. She was the reason he had stayed in Seattle, despite his need to tell everyone it was Sloan's new burns unit.

Sex with her had been amazing. Knowing that he was her first was incredible and awe inspiring and gave him the neanderthal need to ensure he was her only one. Ever. But it wasn't what he was dreaming about. It was the visions of April in a white dress, or heavily pregnant, or shepherding a green eyed, red haired little girl to soccer practice that were waking him up with a smile each night; until he remembered that he was supposed to be a hard core, kick ass, take no prisoners surgeon.

So Jackson had been reduced to watching her from across the cafeteria or from the gallery above the OR, hoping to catch her smile. It was seeing Mark, the man Jackson had been modelling himself on, get down on one knee and propose to little Grey in the entrance to the hospital that brought Jackson out of his stupor. Lexie, after saying yes, had to go back to surgery. While Mark waited, Jackson had volunteered to take him and Calleigh to Joe's for a celebratory drink. Knowing that Yang had been planning to take April there was an added bonus. Maybe he would finally get up the courage to talk to her? Maybe he could start over, in the way he should have done, and invite her out for dinner? If she wanted to wait for more than that then he was on board.

Because of his recent revelation it was a bit of a surprise when on stepping in from the cold outside he was greeted with a face full of tequila and a resounding slap. He didn't get time to respond before the three women stormed out.

Sloan was looking at him with wide eyes. 'What the hell did you do? Grey was more pissed off with you than she was with me when I cheated on her sister with my best friend.'

Avery couldn't make it sound better than it was. He had fucked up. 'I slept with April.' Jackson was treated to his second girl slap of the night. This one was considerably more painful than the first and came from Calleigh.

'I thought better of you Jackson. When he', she paused and gestured at Sloan, 'finally got his head out of his ass and proposed I thought the days of the Seattle Grace manwhores were over. If you have to take Mark's place then at least pick women who understand the score. I know at least a dozen ortho nurses who would happily become the next notch on your bed post. A girl's first time should be with someone special.'

Calleigh looked set to continue. Jackson lost his temper. Too much had happened that evening. He walked away.

'Don't walk away from me. I'm still a senior attending to you.' Calleigh continued, not getting the message.

Jackson turned and took a deep breath.

'I fucking love April. I know screwed up by sleeping with her, amazing as it was, and I have no idea how in the hell I make it right. So if you'll excuse me I'm going to get blind drunk and celebrate the fact that at least Sloan gets to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves.'

It was the thirty seconds of silence in the bar that pointed out to Jackson that he had literally screamed his declaration in Calleigh's face whilst surrounded by several members of Seattle Grace staff. There was no way that this wouldn't be tomorrow's topic of conversation for the whole hospital and April now had another reason to hate him.

Jackson wondered how the situation could possibly get anymore screwed up?

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**Thank you again for the reviews and alerts. I love you all!**

**P.S. Last nights episode - amazing, even if most of it felt more like a set up for next week. I really can't wait.  
**


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